


Zein

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M, Post-Filming Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-09
Updated: 2004-03-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 10:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7711132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dom wants to know why Billy's been so standoffish, but the answer wasn't the one he'd expected to hear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zein

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years . To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

The chilly air hit my face like a slap as I stepped onto the roof. Above me, it was a clear night and the stars glittered almost as much as Billy’s eyes when he was laughing. Below me, they were giving out shiny little gold trophies for people to put on their mantles and tell their grandchildren that they’d won best producer or whatever. In front of me, there sat a small figure near the edge whose silhouette I knew as Billy. Around us, far down like from the top of Minas Tirith, traffic roared, lights shone, and horns blared. Through it all I could hear snatches of his light singing, a soft rendition of a Johnny Lang song.

“I don't want to be in love but you're makin' me; let me up I've had enough... you’re breakin' me... Can I make you understand, can I make you see? I am desperate for your love and it's breakin' me...”

He was watching the traffic calmly, not too close to the edge of course, and nursing a beer bottle. He jumped and stopped singing abruptly when I sat down next to him, but recovered and silently handed me his beer. I drank some and licked my lips as I handed it back, trying to find the taste of Billy’s mouth behind the rich Corona. No such luck.

“What’s the matter, Bill?”

He shrugged, still watching the world below. It put me into an even worse mood, if possible. “Something’s bothering you, you’ve been like this for like a month. Giving me the cold shoulder no matter what I do. Come on, Billy.”

Slowly, he brought his head around to look me in the eye. He looked sick and weary and even heartbroken and every minute of his thirty-five years. The way he looked that one time I almost kissed him. I wanted to take him in my arms and tell him that everything would be all right, but he wouldn’t want me to.

I noticed he was shivering, badly. “You look freezing.” I made to take him in my arms anyway, but he flinched away. It broke me.

“What is your problem, Billy? You’re acting like you hate me. You had Sean sit between us tonight -no, don’t tell me that wasn’t deliberate- I touched your face today and you all but smacked me. In fact, you might have had not the whole world been watching!” I was shouting now. “You’re freezing your ass off up here and you won’t even bloody let me hug you! Why?”

He looked at me for a long time. Sometimes I wished that he would just get mad and yell at me, but he never would. When he spoke, his voice was small and so quiet I almost had to lean in to hear him. “If I let you hug me I don’t think I’d be able to let go.”

That was the last thing I was expecting to hear. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, you bastard, that I love you so much that if I allowed you to get too close I’d lose it all. Everything.” His voice cracked and he put his head in his hands. “There, look. You made me do it anyway.”

I found my voice somehow. “You love me?”

He sighed resignedly into his palms. “Yeah. More than anything. Just... please don’t hate me for it.”

All I could do was put my hand on his shoulder. Not demanding, not assuming, just there. He slowly brought his head up, unsure, disbelieving. Slowly I brought my mouth down on his just the way I’ve wanted to for years. He pushed back hungrily and twined those fingers in my hair and pulled me closer and I was in heaven.

Our lungs ran out of oxygen far too quickly, and he pulled back so reluctantly as if I were going to disappear. I didn’t. I gathered him into the hug I’d wanted to give him for so long. “I love you too; so much. Why didn’t you tell me?”

His voice was warm on my neck and sent beautiful shivers up and down my back. “I was afraid to.”

“Never, ever be afraid again.”

“As long as you’re here.”

“That might be quite a while.”

“Fine with me.”

I pulled back and kissed him again. “We should get back down there before they send search parties out.”

We went back down, probably grinning like idiots. Nobody noticed it.

The End


End file.
